100+ Jokes About Snakes

Have you ever been bitten by the humor bug, especially when it comes to snake jokes? If not, prepare to be charmed! We’ve got 100+ Jokes about Snakes that are sure to coil around your funny bone and give you a hiss-terical time. So, whether you’re a snake enthusiast or just here for a good laugh, slide on down and get ready to be tickled!

Jokes About Snakes

Snake Puns

Everyone loves a good pun, and when it involves our slithery friends, the result is simply s-s-s-sensational! So, let’s strike while the iron’s hot and dive into these pun-tastic gems:

  1. Why was the snake good at math? He was an adder!
  2. What do you call a snake that tells jokes? A python!
  3. What do snakes use to make their beds? Reptile sheets!
  4. Why did the snake sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse!
  5. What do you call a snake that bakes? A python-baker!
  6. Why did the snake get suspended from school? For hiss-terical behavior!
  7. What’s a snake’s favorite movie? The Hiss-tanic!
  8. How does a snake keep its skin smooth? It uses reptile cream!
  9. What’s a snake’s favorite instrument? The snake drum!
  10. Why don’t snakes need to weigh themselves? Because they have their own scales!
  11. What’s a snake’s favorite dance style? The Mamba!
  12. How did the snake quit smoking? He used the patch!
  13. Why did the snake always get good grades? He had Python skills!
  14. What type of book do snakes read? Any that has a good sssstoryline!
  15. Why did the viper, viper nose? Because the adder, adder handkerchief!
  16. How do snakes send mail? By sssnail mail!
  17. Why did the snake get a ticket? For hiss-peeding!
  18. Which snake is good at lighting up a room? The lamp-bray!
  19. What’s a snake’s favorite room? The hiss-terical archive!
  20. Why did the snake break up with the lightbulb? She wasn’t very bright!
  21. How did the snake propose? With a coiled ring!
  22. Why did the snake cross the road? To hiss the other side!
  23. What’s a snake’s favorite game? Sssnakes and ladders!
  24. Why was the snake so grumpy? He had a hiss-temper!
  25. What do you call a snake that can sing? A wrap-tile!
  26. Why do snakes hate tests? Too many hiss-terical questions!
  27. Why did the snake wear glasses? To improve hiss vision!
  28. What did the snake study in college? Hiss-tory of art!
  29. How do snakes express love? Hiss and herss!
  30. Why was the snake always online? To update hiss-tagram!
  31. What’s a snake’s favorite opera? Ssslithero!
  32. Why did the snake go to the theatre? To see the hiss-trionics!
  33. How do snakes end an argument? By hissing and making up!
  34. What do you call a snake on a car’s dashboard? Windshield viper!
  35. What did the snake say to its prey? It’s a wrap!
  36. Why don’t snakes play poker? They can’t bluff; everyone can see their scales!
  37. How do snakes clean their car? With a windshield viper!
  38. Why was the snake great at poker? He always had a good ssslither of cards!
  39. How do you measure a snake? Inch by inch!
  40. What’s a snake’s favorite drink? Sssoda!
  41. Why don’t snakes play basketball? They can’t shoot; they slither!
  42. What do you call a snake that builds things? A boa constructor!
  43. What do snakes use to cut paper? Sssscissors!
  44. What do you get when you cross a snake with a pie? A python!
  45. How does a snake say hello? “Hi-ssss!”
  46. Why was the snake a great detective? He could sssolve any mystery!
  47. What do you call a snake who loves to play cards? A Wild Card Cobra!
  48. How do snakes show they’re interested in a story? “Ssssss…go on!”
  49. Why was the snake always calm? He had inner peas-s!
  50. What’s a snake’s favorite TV show? “Slithering with the Stars!”
Snake Puns

Enjoy the hiss-terics these puns are sure to bring!

See also: Funny Zoo Puns.

Best Snake Jokes

Beyond puns, we’ve got a bunch of Snake Jokes that are bound to leave you in splits. Ready to be charmed? Here we go:

Best Snake Jokes
  1. Why did the snake sit on the computer? He wanted to surf the web.
  2. How does a snake shoot something? With a boa and arrow.
  3. What did the snake give to his wife? A goodnight hiss.
  4. Why did the snake get a ticket? For snake-parking.
  5. What do you call a snake who is a baker? A python.
  6. What do you call a snake that becomes a detective? An investsss-tigator!
  7. How do snakes end a fight? They hiss and make up.
  8. What did the snake use to write a letter? A fountain pen.
  9. Why couldn’t the snake talk? He had a frog in his throat!
  10. Why did the snake go to school? To improve hiss-terical knowledge.
  11. What do you call a snake that loves to dig? A shovel-constrictor.
  12. What do you call a snake with a great personality? A charm-boa.
  13. How do you measure a snake? In inchessss!
  14. What’s a snake’s favorite snack? Mouse-mallow!
  15. What’s a snake’s favorite game on a phone? Sssssolitaire!
  16. Why did the snake stand up in the theatre? To get a better sssseat!
  17. Where do snakes go skiing? Ssssslope Mountain!
  18. Why did the snake like to play cards? He was good at sssssnapping them!
  19. What do you call a snake who works at a library? A book constrictor!
  20. What did the mom snake say to her crying baby? “Sssstop your hiss-terics!”
  21. What did the fashion-conscious snake wear? A ssssnake belt!
  22. Why did the snake get an award? For hiss outstanding performance!
  23. How did the snake win the race? He sssslid to the finish line!
  24. What did the snake wear to the beach? A python bikini!
  25. Why was the snake so romantic? He was a smooth sssslider!
  26. Why did the two snakes break up? They had a hiss-understanding!
  27. What do you call a snake that tells tall tales? A boa-st!
  28. Why couldn’t the snake make a decision? He was a ssslither thinker!
  29. Where do fashionable snakes shop? Sssaks Fifth Avenue!
  30. Why did the snake cross the road? To hiss the other side!
  31. What do you get when you cross a snake and a Lego set? A boa constructor!
  32. Why did the snake apply for a job? He wanted to climb up the corporate ladder!
  33. Where do snakes go to get new glasses? The hiss-optician!
  34. How does a snake express gratitude? Hiss thanks!
  35. What did the snake say to its prey? “Gotcha, ssslipper!”
  36. What’s a snake’s favorite subject in music class? Hiss-terious sounds!
  37. Where do snakes go on their summer vacation? Pari-ssss!
  38. Why did the snake give up singing? He couldn’t hit the high hiss!
  39. Where do snakes hang their coats? On the ssssliding hook!
  40. Why did the snake get an iPhone? For hiss-terical selfies!
  41. What kind of letters do snakes get from their admirers? Fan hiss!
  42. What do you call a snake with a great singing voice? A hiss-tenor!
  43. Why was the snake so good at sports? He had natural coil-ordination!
  44. Where do snakes learn to bite? Snack school!
  45. Why was the snake so talkative? He had the gift of the hiss!
  46. What’s a snake’s favorite carnival ride? The roller-coilster!
  47. Why don’t snakes need coffee? They’re naturally hiss-terical!
  48. How do snakes like their eggs? Sssscrambled!
  49. What do snakes put on their kitchen floors? Reptiles!
  50. What’s a snake’s favorite play? Romeo and Juliet with a ssssting!
  51. How did the snake like his steak? Rattled!
  52. Why did the snake blush? It saw its tail!

Keep these jokes handy for a good chuckle or to impress your friends at your next gathering!

Snakes in Pop Culture

Snakes aren’t just the stuff of jokes. They’ve played vital roles in movies, songs, and folklore. From the trusty snake in “The Jungle Book” to Taylor Swift’s iconic references in her songs, snakes have made quite a hiss in pop culture. Isn’t it s-s-s-surprising how these creatures can be so versatile?

Tips to Handle a Real Snake

Let’s be real; while we love joking about snakes, if one slithers into your yard, the jokes might not seem so funny. Here are a few tips:

  1. Stay calm and give the snake space.
  2. Do not attempt to handle the snake unless you’re trained.
  3. Identify the snake from a distance; not all are venomous!
  4. Always prioritize your safety and call a professional if needed.

FAQ Section

  • Are snakes good pets?
    • Yes, snakes can be wonderful pets for those who are informed and prepared. However, research the specific species before getting one.
  • Do all snakes bite?
    • Not all snakes are aggressive, but all have the capacity to bite, especially if they feel threatened.
  • Why are snake jokes so popular?
    • They offer a fun way to engage with an animal that often has a fearsome reputation, making the subject more approachable.


It’s been a roller-coaster of laughter, hasn’t it? With these 102 jokes about snakes, you’re now equipped to be the life of the party (or at least the most hiss-terical person in the room). As you wrap up, remember that every joke has its charm and every snake its unique scale of humor. So, next time you encounter these slithery creatures, whether in your backyard or a fun story, take a moment to appreciate the joy and laughter they bring into our lives. Keep slithering into the world of humor, and stay s-s-s-smiling!

I am the founder of HumorLifeGuide.com, a well-known humorist. Explore the website to enjoy a delightful collection of funny jokes, clever puns, hilarious memes, entertaining names, and memorable quotes. Get ready to laugh and gain fresh insights into the world around us through my unique humor.

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